


Bad Faith

by akanemikaelson



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Feels, Backstory, Boys Kissing, Child Abuse, Denial of Feelings, Guilt, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, M/M, Memory Loss, Mental Illness, Past Friendship, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth Issues, Suicide Attempt, Violence, anger issues, love- hate relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-20 02:57:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14886332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akanemikaelson/pseuds/akanemikaelson
Summary: "We don't choose who we fall for."We accept the love we think we deserve.





	1. Chapter 1

When Alex opened his eyes again, the outside was dark. Alex already heard the familiar footsteps going down there, but he just laid down on the ground, stared at the slightly light through the dusty window.

\- Hey cripple, wake up. I bought you dinner.

Montgomery throw some snacks on the floor, and Alex finally sat up, took one and chuckled.

Sour Patch Kids.

Reminded him of his mother’s healthy boring meals he had to eat everyday at home, till Tyler sneakily got him some “unhealthy things” before he was bored by vegetables to death. Thank god, finally something’s good.

\- What are you smiling?

\- Nothing. Thank. – Alex said, started to eat.

Montgomery looked at Alex like he was growing two heads.

\- Freak. – He scowled, turned away.

It was a while since Alex was kidnapped and trapped here, not sure exactly how many hours were passed, as if he had lost the track of the time. Not like he actually cared anymore.

Not like he would ever think about running anywhere with this cripple leg.

Not like Monty could keep him here forever.

It could see that Montgomery also noticed and also started being annoyed with how insanely calm Alex was now. It’s not what he expected. He supposed to be scared, to be terrified. Or at least react something, like even angry, mad or tried to be sarcastic, tried to insult him with every breath he had as usual.

His eyes were narrowed, Montgomery stepped closer, till he stood in front of Alex. Alex didn’t even bother to look up, like he already knew what was gonna happen next.

\- Take your clothes off.

\- Hey, at least let me finish eating... A...

Monty stroked violently the snacks out of Alex’s hands, made it spill all over the floor.

\- Take the damn f́́́ucking clothes off, or I’m gonna do it for you.

Alex didn’t say anything, he slowly took off the shirt. Alex’s body was too thin, his skin was so pale and smooth, highlighted the redness of the previous sex marks.

Monty shallowed his own spittle, but stayed still, crossed his arms and watched Alex removing every piece of clothes in his body. Till the boxes, he stopped, eyes still sticking on the ground. His hand dangled at his thigh trying to cover his sensitive part.

Montgomery chuckled, roughly flipped him on his stomach. Alex heard the collision sound of the belt, the sound of pulling the pants down behind, but he didn’t move.

Not like it hadn’t happened before.

Not like he could have any chance to run or fight back.

He felt his hip was lifted up, Alex tried to put both of his hands and the other leg to keep balance. Then something harshly thrusted into his entrance.

\- Ha…

He heard Montgomery’s heavy breath, his pleasure hisses and curses, over and over.

Then every sound, every sight gradually faded away.

He saw Hannah laying beside him, all her hair and her half naked body are wet by blood. Her eyes still opened but vague, all the life was lost, as if a dead body was shaking from the brutal movement behind. He could still hear her sound echoing back all over this room, the depressed, painful whimpers begging it to stop. _In that night._

That illusion never stopped since the day Alex remembered everything, even he knew it was just a hallucination but it still felt so real.

_I could’ve stopped this._

Alex never stopped remembering this.

_I had killed her._

Alex closed his eyes, his nails clenched hardly into his palm till it was bleeding, let nothing but pain took over him.

_Maybe I deserved it, after all._

Suddenly, Alex felt warmness, and his body no longer felt cool and wobble, like somebody was hugging him. The movement inside him was less rougher and less painful. Alex slightly no longer feel pain, instead of he was feeling something else. Something like...

Alex gasped, opened his eyes.

Montgomery pulled Alex onto his arms, let the whole weight of his body lean against his chest. He also hold on to Alex’s limp leg, put it on his thigh. He did all of that with the tenderness, even his thrusts also became more gently and more slowly. Montgomery never knew he could have ever been gentle with anyone like that in his life, he even didn’t know the meaning of that word, but he didn’t really enjoy Alex being in pain like he had thought that he would have been. Not like he really cared for this little motherfucker, he didn’t. Nope, he was not gonna feel sorry for that pathetic loser, or feel sympathy for any of fucking pathetic freaks in that damn school, or in this fucking world. It was just not fun at all to have sex with a fucking dead fish. Since Alex was on Montgomery’s hand and he could do everything he wanted to do with him, he decided it would be so much greater if he brought him some pleasure and that cocky shit would be moaning loudly under him like a little bitch, begging for more. Yeah, it would be so much fun, destroying Alex’s ego, since he always like to show off as if he was better than anyone else.

He heard Alex’s breath starting to grow heavier and heavier, his body being tremble with every Monty’s touch. Montgomery chuckled, grabbed his hips making where their combination closer as possible as it could, his dick poked deeper inside Alex’s ass, adjusted the angle of the thrusts.

All of sudden, Alex let out a strange noise, and Montgomery smirked, constantly thrusted into that spot, pushed up a little bit harder and faster, pleased as hearing Alex’s crying out.

He touched Alex’s cock, realizing it was already hard. He grinned while seeing Alex was also looking down at his own cock.

\- Oh look at this! Somebody’s dying to fuck.– He stroked Alex’s “little boy”, whispered at his ear. – So, Standall, you fucking like it? Huh? You are enjoying this, aren’t you? You love to be fucked like this? – He thrusted harder.

\- Hmmm… Arrggg…Urgg… - Alex bite his lips, prevented himself from letting out anymore sound.

Montgomery laughed, his hand kept arousing Alex’s manhood while constantly pounding inside him, taking it slow, harder and deeper.

\- No… No… Stop it! – Alex suddenly was panic. – Stop it!!! Stop!!! Get off me!!! Get the fuck out off me!!!

Montgomery was surprised by Alex’s sudden violent resistance, but it was not hard for Montgomery to restrained Alex’s skinny body just in a few seconds. Alex was still struggling, desperate to get out of Montgomery’s hold.

\- Stay the fucking still you little shit, or I’m gonna fucking break both of your arms!

But Alex seems like didn’t hear anything, still trying with all his strength he had to push Monty away. Montgomery decided to ignore and kept doing his unfinished job, he pulled out of Alex then pushed him down and rolled him over. He grasped Alex’s wrists over his head with one hand, the another one harshly splited his legs and grabbed his hips, pushed all the way in again.

\- Ahaaahhhhh... – Alex cried out, but immediately bite his lips. Montgomery still kept ramming into him, hitting hard at his sensitive system.

A few minutes later, Alex finally stopped fighting, just helpless squirming under Montgomery’s body.

 _“Monty, please…”_ – Alex whispered, his voice is so soft and broken.

Montgomery finally looked at Alex, he was burying his face in his arm, trying to cover his face. A warm tear was running down along his cheek and seeped into Monty's wrist. Monty suddenly felt something cracking inside him, after a few seconds of hesitation, he leaned down and kissed Alex in his lips. Alex was frozen for while, some pieces of the old memories flipped through his mind.

Alex shook his head, continued to struggle, tried to broke it away. But Monty clenched his jaw and force his head to stay still, while his tough penetrated deep inside Alex’s mouth, devoured it till Alex couldn’t breath. Then he leaned down and kissed Alex’s neck, slowly licking and sipping every taste and fragrant of his bare skin, like a delicious dish he had always been eager to eat for a long time.

It was going to be a long night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long chapter, enjoy ❤❤❤

**Flashback:**

Weeks after the dance…

Just like everyday before that, everything was normal. School was normal. People was normal.

Everyone was walking around together the hallway, joking together, chatting together. The boys was talking about sports or something like that, checking every hot girl passed through them, laughing. The girls was gossipping together about some cheap rumors, news they heard and discussed about it. Everything was normal.

Like nothing happened.

But nothing would be the same anymore.

Like everyday after THAT day, the group gathered together around a table: Clay, Justin, Jessica, Alex, Zach, Tony, Ryan, Sheri, Courtney and Scott. Even Cyrus and his punk friends also came and sat with them sometimes. After Hannah’s death and the court, even still didn’t know when we could move on, but at least the only things which wasn’t too bad that they were together, and were there for each other. They became friends.

\- Hey, how are the things with Tyler?

After Clay convinced Tyler not to shot up the school and helped him get out of that; and then the police came, the group decided to cover up for him and told them there was just a misunderstanding. Then they found out what happened to him, Tyler finally talked to his parents and the Down decided to report what happened in the bathroom to the school and the police. Montgomery’s friends who joined with him at that morning were arrested, but Monty was missing. Tyler didn’t show up at school either.

\- The last time I spoke to his parents, he’s still at hospital, had the therapy and got some treatment. – Clay said, hesitantly. – He…uhmm… his… was injured very badly, and…uhm… had been bleeding for several hours. He’s not really okay, but, getting better.

Jessica covered her mouth:

\- Oh my god, I can’t believe what happened to him. Hope he will be okay soon.

\- And Monty’s such a monster. – Courtney, despite her contradictions with Tyler in the past, shook her head angrily. – I hope he was going to rot in jail forever for what he did.

Zach crossed his arms:

\- Monty’s hidding. He could be anywhere.

\- He can not go far. – Justin shrugged. – And he’s not Bryce, he doesn’t have a rich father to hide a good lawyer or palm the jury and the prosecutor. He won’t get away with this.

\- Good. – Ryan added, pouted in disgust. – Fucking rapist.

Alex’s heart slightly tightened with that informations. He thought about what Montgomery said to him when he tricked Alex to go with him, to get the polaroid. He talked about his bad homelife, about his dad was always beating him at home, about how Bryce and his team were his home and the only thing left he had. Alex couldn’t help but feeling sorry a bit for this guy. But immediately he shook his head and got that thoughts out of his head. Courtney and Justin was right. Whatever Montgomery’s excuses were, it didn’t make up at all for what he did. He had to to pay for that. Alex shouldn’t have felt sympathy for him, like at all. Not to mention, Tyler was Alex’s friend. He was nice to him.

Clay broke the silence:

\- Hey, guys. Could anyone be free this afternoon and help me check on Tyler? Today I have something have to do at home so I can’t go.

\- Me. – Alex volunteered without even blinking. – Tyler and I are friends, he also was very nice to me and helped me a lot when and even after I was in hospital. It’s fair for me at least to do something for him and he probably would be more comfortable with me.

\- I’ll go with Alex. – Zach said. – He definitely will need a driver… and someone help him with the stair.

Alex rolled his eyes.

\- I’ll go too. – Jessica said. Everyone looked at her in surprise, everyone except Alex. – I can help Alex too, and… I want to see Tyler and how he’s doing. And I want to apologize to him… I was mean to him before.

\- I go. – Justin raised his hand.

\- I’m in.

Nearly the whole table volunteered. Clay waved his hands:

\- Okay, okay. I get that you guys all care about him and want to see him, I bet Tyler would be glad to know that. But it’s not the good time, he’s… still in the recovery phase, he might be still not comfortable to see a lot of people, especially now everyone know what happen to him. That’s why I have to go alone to the hospital in the first weeks.

Alex agreed:

\- Yeah. Clay’s right. I’ll just go with Zach.

His eyes glanced at Jessica, not for long, but he still could feel a bit hurt in her eyes. After the dance, Jessica broke up with him. Alex just accepted that and didn't bother to ask her why. He already knew. Alex could guess through the way Jessica looked at Justin everytime she saw him, the way her eyes kept searching for another boy even she was still in his arms, the way both Jessica and Justin disappeared simultaneously in the middle of that night, the guilty look on both of them, especially toward Alex, whenever someone asked them where they were going.

Alex didn’t blind. He knew.

Jessica still had feeling for Justin, after all that time. Anyone who had eyes could notice that.

But contrary to what people think, Alex didn’t feel sad. He didn’t feel angry, didn’t feel betray. In fact, he didn’t feel anything. From the moment his lips touched her, Alex knew he no longer felt anything for Jessica either. He didn’t love her anymore. Of course, he still cared about her, as a friend, he was there for her because he knew what she had been through. Alex guessed, that was also the reasons why Jess agreed to be with him, because she felt sorry for him and didn’t want him to kill himself again. And that’s also why despite he didn’t mind anything happened between Justin and Jessica, Alex still want to avoid them as much as possible. He didn’t want to see the guilty looks in both of them, knowing that they were pity for him. Like he was someone who was need to be sympathized, to be pitied, who was weak and need to be protected. Reminded him of the treatment he got everyday since he was suicided. He didn’t need anything like that, from them, from anyone. Ever.

The bell rang and everyone was standing up, ready to leave.

\- Alex… - He heard Jessica calling him lowly from behind.

\- I gotta go. See you guys later… Bye Jess. – Alex said.

And he walked away.

* * *

 

When Alex and Zach went to hospital, Tyler sat leaning against the pillow, reading a book. Seeing Alex came, he smiled, waved his hand:

\- Hi, Alex. And… - He turned his sight to Zach walking behind Alex, his expressions slightly changed a bit. – Zach.

Alex walked slowly with his cane besides Tyler’s bed, he opened his bag and smiled at him:

\- Look at what I have for you, don’t tell your doctor or your parents… Cool Ranch Doritos. – Tyler cheered happily. – And… Sour Patch Kids.

\- Oh my god. – Tyler took his snacks, looked at Alex gratefully. – Thank you so much. You have no idea how much I’m sick of hospital food.

\- Yeah, actually, I do. – Alex chuckled, looked at Tyler eating his doritos. Atter a few quite minutes, he asked. – Well, so… how are you?

Tyler blinked at the question.

\- … I’m fine. I mean… - He paused in a second, like trying to find his words. And Alex let him. – I don’t know. I’m getting better, I guess. – he reluctantly smiled.

Alex nodded back at him. He knew it was not really an appropriate question, but he still wanted to know how Tyler was doing, hearing he say he was doing okay, even Alex know he would never be okay. He still the way Jessica had struggled with that stuff, and she was still struggling, so definitely it wasn’t easy for Tyler, especially when he was a boy. Alex looked at Tyler, his skin had been pale now even was paler than before, and his thin body had never been skinny more than that. But he still looked better than the last time Alex saw him, he looked… brighter, it was really a good sign.

\- I…, you know, we were worried about you, and happy that you’re feeling better.

\- Yeah, I know. You and Clay really care about me a lot.

\- Well, not just me and Clay…

\- You mean… - Tyler tilted his head, confused.

\- Jessica, Justin, Tony, even Courtney, the others… - Zach immediately interrupted “Me too”. Alex rolled his eyes. – Yeah, and Zach – he was the first one who suggested to go with me. The others all wanted to visit you today, but Clay said that it might be uncomfortable to you to… have a room with full of people, so…

Alex just wanted Tyler to know that there was always someone to be there for him, that there was people cared about him. It was important to him to know that.

Tyler looked a bit shocked. He shyly scratched his head.

\- Yeah… thanks you guys. I-um… I heard it from Clay, and… I didn’t have a chance to thank you guys for… uhmm… covering up for me and not telling anyone… about me bringing guns to school…

\- And trying to kill everyone. – Zach again interrupted.

\- Zach… - Alex gave him a warning glare.

Tyler looked at Zach a bit with the repentance, again scratched his head.

\- Yeah, about that, sorry about trying to kill you.

Zach bursted out a stupid laugh, and Alex again glared at him. Zach immediately shut his mouth.

\- Yeah… I guess, I think I also need to apologize about… I was a total dick to you at Alex’s birthday party. I shouldn’t have told you to get out. And… I shouldn’t have put you against a locker and accused you of stalking my sister. It wasn’t you, I was wrong.

\- It’s okay. Can’t blame you. I mean… I was a creep. Could understand why you thought it was me. - Tyler smiled at him. – Speaking of Alex’s birthday, the birthday gift’s still at my room, probably in my closet. When I go back home, I definitely will give it to you, Alex.

\- Of couse, can’t wait to see what it is. – Alex said. – ... So, Tyler. When you go home, are you also going back to school?

Tyler suddenly looked sad, he shook his head.

\- No, my parents… uhm… I will stay at home. My parents are planning to move on to another place when I’m… better. Which means… I will move to another school.

\- You’re moving? – Zach asked, his mouth widely opened. Alex was a bit shocked as well.

\- Yeah, they used to ask me before, after the court, but I refused. I said, I have my friend, that I couldn’t leave you, you need me. – Tyler looked at Alex. – But now, I think about it again, it’s… actually a good idea. I couldn’t be here anymore, after… everything happened. – He looked down on his hand.

Alex felt sad that Tyler had to leave, he really considered him as his friend, but he also understand it was the best for Tyler. He understand that Tyler need to move on, and to do that he need a flesh start. Zach seemed look understanding as well, he patted his shoulder, and Alex did the same.

\- Yeah, don’t worried, if you guys miss me there still have something exist which is called facebook you know. – Tyler chuckled. – By the way, it would be really great. I will have new place, new friends, and I could take pictures again. Hope they will let me join the illuminati.

Alex laughed. He pulled Tyler into a hug.

\- I will miss you.

\- Yeah, I will miss you too.

\- Remember to send me a postcard.

* * *

 

When Alex got home, the time was late. He pulled out all the things in his bag on the table, searching his Math book. Funny with all the crazy things happened in this fucking school and the teacher still had energy to give students a bunch of homeworks to do, how wonderful.

And Alex paused when he saw a cover with his name was written on it, by a read highlight familiarly. He opened it, and found a letter with a simple instruction:

“11:00. At the same place. Alone. Don't tell anyone. Don't call police. _Monty._ "

**End flashback.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter might be boring for some people, but I think it's necessary to add this flashback to give this story a context. By the way, even I'm writing about Montgomery/Alex (my guilty ship, hope I'm not going to hell for this lol), I would still never defend what Monty did to Tyler at the bathroom scene. I also love Tyler so much and hope he will get love and good treatment he deserves after everything happened to him in ss2, so I need to write Alex/Tyler to show how precious their friendship is (which also would contribute a bit to this plot) and I need to know that my baby Tyler will be okay ❤❤❤


End file.
